


Sacrifice

by Captain_of_the_sass



Series: Tumblr oneshots [6]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bones is surrounded by idiots, M/M, Spock trying (and failing) to hide his emotions.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 17:52:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5014276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_of_the_sass/pseuds/Captain_of_the_sass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which Spock is reckless and Jim questions his first officer's life choices</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> based of the tumblr prompt:  
> "-'Don't fucking touch me.' Any ship googogogogogo"

_Pissed_ was a pretty damn huge understatement of the way Jim was feeling. His heart beat hard in his chest as he paced outside sickbay, hands balled into fists. Finally, after what felt like ages, Bones slipped into the hall. There was a smudge of green blood on his uniform that Jim zeroed in on, heart rate spiking. Anger was forgotten in the space of time it took for the dark green spot to become the epicenter of a storm that threatened to break him apart.

“Jim? C’mon,kid!” a hand was snapping in front of his face and blue eyes flicked up to find Bones’s worried stare. Bags hung under the doctor’s eyes, yet his expression was soft and gentle, and something in Jim’s chest unknotted when the CMO said softly;

“He’s fine, Jim. He’ll be a bit sore for a few days but he should be ready for duty tomorrow morning.”

Jim let out a sigh of relief and slumped, head falling to rest on Bones’s shoulder, the doctor rubbing soothing circles into his back.

“Can I see him?”

Bones tilted Jim’s head up and met his eyes, searching for something.

“Yeah, Jim. You can go see him. The damn idiot insists he’s feeling fine and his vitals are all pretty normal, so I think we can manage a visit.”

The two strode through medical and Jim held his head high despite the way his hands still trembled ever so slightly. Exhaustion from the long mission played at his body but he felt too wired to even consider sleeping. When he caught sight of Spock the jolt that ran through his blood suddenly had him _very_ awake. The Vulcan was sitting on the sickbed, feet firmly planted on the floor, his chest bare save for the bandage across his stomach. He looked up as they approached, eyes singularly focused on Jim.

“Dermal regenerator.” Bones supplied, “The blast just grazed him, so the only thing to do was regenerate as much as we could and keep the rest medicated and covered.” Jim could swear he heard the doctor mutter something along the lines of _reckless idiots_ under his breath but chose to ignore it. Instead he favored Spock with a hard expression.

“You shouldn’t have done that, Spock.”

His first officer tilted his head slightly.

“If by "that” you are referring to me covering you in the line of fire and thereby saving your life, then I must disagree, Captain.“

Jim was, of course, pissed off again.

"You could have _died_.”

"But I did not. You, on the other hand, would have been a certain causality had I not acted as I had.”

“You fucking _wrapped_ yourself around me like a shield, you fucking idiot. Like you were _expendable_. Well newsflash, you dick, you’re _NOT_. And if you ever do that again I swear to _fuck_... _”_

Bones decided it was probably best for him to give them privacy and had the good grace to slip soundlessly from the bedside, closing the privacy curtain as he went and warning off anyone in earshot with a solid glare.

Spock noticed his departure but declined to mention it, instead rising to his feet and stalking a step closer to his Captain. 

"I have saved your life.” he said with carefully contained anger, “It is not a decision that I regret and, with all due respect, Captain,” There was a bite to his voice that had Jim bristling, “it was my decision to make. You are an asset to this ship, this crew, and the federation. To be willing to trade my life for one of more value is a valid choice.”

"No.”

Spock stared. Jim was shaking with rage, eyes wild.

“ _You_ _do_ _not get to decide whose life is worth more, Spock.”_ Jim strode forward, defiantly lodging himself into Spock’s personal space, “Did you even _consider_ how I’d feel? Knowing my first officer, my _friend_ , died because I was too fucking _stupid_ to avoid an ambush?”

“Captain, there was no way anyone could have-”

“Shut the hell up!” Jim was running shaking hands through his hair and when Spock reached for them Jim lurched away, practically snarling.

“ _Don’t fucking touch me_. You protected me because I’m an _asset_? Do you honestly not hear how fucked up that is? You can’t just decide I should live and you should die because you think I’m more _useful_!”

Spock stalks closer, anger clean on his face at last, and Jim takes a sick satisfaction in being the cause of the expression.

“Then I will state something very plainly for you, _Jim_. Your value to starfleet as a whole was in part responsible for my decision. Your value to _me_ is what drove me to my actions _._ The very concept of you, deceased, _bleeding_ , _dying_ , drove me to my actions. You are my Captain, you are my friend, and I _will not_ lose you.”

Spock’s hand was fisted in Jim’s shirt, their noses nearly brushing. The captain's expression shut down, smoothing over into cold marble. 

"You're on probation pending your recovery. You are strictly confined to sickbay and residency levels only." with that he grabbed Spock's wrist and shoved it away, taking a step back and straightening out his uniform. 

 

 


End file.
